The Metaverse is a Stupid Idea!

Life update alert: your boy got a new job again. Yes indeed. That happened.

I can’t tell you too much about it yet, but with a little bit of Googling or LinkedIn digging anyone can find this stuff, it’s no secret. What may surprise my audience more than the job change is the fact that I’m moving into a more senior role that focuses a lot more on the visual side of things. Shocking, considering what I’ve said about visuals in the past, right? But stay tuned, because there’s more info coming later!

Other things going on in the life of this ugly unicorn? Belt promotions in jiu-jitsu. I am stoked about this and it actually came as a big surprise to me: I already have my first stripe on my purple belt. That happened a lot faster than back when I was a blue belt, so I’m excited and thankful.

I really want to start training more. Not because of New Year’s resolutions or anything like that, but because I just want to keep getting better and keep growing. That’s true for every aspect of my life, not just jiu-jitsu. Never stop learning, right?

Getting Out of the Comfort Zone

Right now my goal is to get out of my comfort zone in several ways, personally and professionally. There’s got to be balance, so you can’t push too far, but there has to be some discomfort to grow.

Back when I did my first jiu-jitsu competition in 2020, I realized that getting mauled by a stranger is way (I mean, WAY) more uncomfortable than any public speaking I’ve ever had to do. Not just because of the physical risks, but hey - those physical risks matter, too!

I’ve seen some pretty bad injuries at UFC events and other things, and even seen people get messed up just by making a bad split-second mistake during jiu-jitsu training. Whatever you do, watch out for your knees and your partner’s knees, guys! Because things can go really wrong.

But the risk of things going wrong is part of the experience. We watch out for each other, but we still train. Getting out of your comfort zone can’t be separated from risk.

A Shoutout

Time to give a quick shoutout to one of the people I’ve been coaching lately! Elizabeth used to be a graphic designer, but not anymore. I was mentoring her and helped her with portfolio review, so it’s exciting to hear she got the UX job she wanted.

I’ve been smiling all day just thinking about Elizabeth’s email. Helping people achieve what they want is actually the most gratifying thing I’ve ever done.

Here’s a bit of what she said in her email:

“Hello Eric! I got my first job as a [UX] designer. Your coaching was perfect, and I was able to make all the changes to my two projects and create a powerpoint that I presented in my interview…

… I must also mention that they have a glowing unicorn statue in their office. I guess it was destiny.``

I guess I’m not the only one who’s a fan of the unicorn vibes, time to get on board if you haven’t already. And check out the amazing review that Elizabeth gave me:

“[Eric] helpmed me to create necessary changes to create a strong portfolio, that led to my interview and first job as a UX designer. He provided resources for me to improve my understanding of this field, and great tips for presenting my work…

I highly recommend his coaching.”

Somebody pick my jaw up off the floor, because that’s awesome. So shoutout to Elizabeth! Congrats on your new job, and thanks for the amazing update and review.

The ‘Verse

Okay, on to the next topic. It’s not the Marvel Universe, it’s not the multiverse, it’s the Metaverse.

I know this thing is a little controversial, but let’s think about this for a moment. You have to use a VR headset. There will be more and more haptic feedback and realism as times goes one. And you’ll be able to go to all the different environments and do so many things. Maybe you’ll be able to hug your parents or give someone a high-five. Buy and sell things. Play games.

My thoughts on this? Here’s exactly what’s been going through my mind:

Bruh. What do you need the Metaverse for? Come to Florida and get close to an alligator. Or go hug your real parents, IRL.

For real: I don’t get it. Maybe because I’m not a big gamer (I’ve maybe used my game console ten times in the last several years), I just don’t find this Metaverse concept nearly as interesting as some people.

I know some people are a lot more into online worlds. And sure, the tech and the graphics are amazing. But I just can’t invest that much of myself into it, to make it a meaningful experience.

Living in the Real World

Maybe this is weird, but I like to go outside and do things. In real nature. In the backyard, at the park, in the woods, whatever. I remember building forts, jumping on trampolines, skateboarding… all that good stuff.

Of course, there are risks involved in doing those things. I messed up my face pretty badly when I was six or seven in Germany, trying to skateboard over a ramp and around the bend. I had to go to school looking like a mummy with my face bandage! Not a fun experience.

But it never crossed my mind that because I got hurt, I should only do virtual outside play from then on. Call me naive or behind the times, but I like living in the real world.

Scandal!

Nothing really shocks me on the internet anymore, but did you hear that Metaverse already has a groping problem? No joke: multiple users have been groped or assaulted in-game.

I’m not sure how that really works when it’s a virtual experience, but yikes! And you know this won’t be the last of that kind of bad behavior. Where there are people, there are always a few creeps and idiots.

My question is, didn’t the game designers plan for this? They didn’t realize that some teenagers or some creepy guys would go into that environment with bad intentions?

Supposedly there is now a tool that creates a safe zone around your avatar. Which is cool, if it works and doesn’t negatively impact the user experience. But are you just supposed to keep that bubble around you all the time, just in case?

It really seems like the design team didn’t fully account for these situations, and is just trying to patch up the problem now. And meanwhile people are out here being virtually groped. It’s just too weird for me.

The Omni-What?

Aside from the Metaverse, now we also have something called the Omniverse. Say what? All these different companies are putting together versions of these online worlds. So I guess that means they really think people will be spending money there.

But if you’re telling me I could buy virtual food, drive a virtual car, and pick out my own virtual outfits, soon I have to ask you: why? Are we going to have rich and poor people swapping experiences so they can see what it’s like in someone else’s shoes? Are we going to have to vote for virtual presidents, too? 

I am not going to invest in food I can’t eat and cars or clothes that I can use. I don’t need a fake experience.

The Houseplant Scenario

Here’s a scenario that really got me. It’s almost hard to believe it’s real. One of these companies had the brilliant idea to suggest 3D models of your IRL possessions. For example, they said you could make a 3D version of your houseplants and then run system diagnostics and troubleshoot them as needed.

They really have people thinking about things like this, programming algorithms about how to handle plant-care real-time. It boggles my mind. We can’t just look at the actual plant in our actual home, and make a decision about how to help it thrive? We need 3D modeling and algorithms.

Cranky Unicorns and Trash TV

If I sound like a cranky old man right now, you’ve got that wrong: I’m a cranky, young, and ugly unicorn. I’m just telling you how I see it, and waiting to see where the chips fall.

And while I’m waiting, I watch trashy TV. That’s right folks, I’m addicted. My wife and I have been watching reality shows like Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. I’m not proud of that fact, but that’s the way it is.

Here’s the thing: no matter how fake these “reality” shows are, there’s something about them that is way more real than the Metaverse can ever be. And I still get to eat real popcorn while I watch all this cringe, which is fine by me.

Transition Time

I have three weeks off and then I’ll be full speed ahead at my new workplace, so don’t begrudge me my reality TV. I know how to put in the work when it counts. And I’m looking forward to updating you more about my new role and what that will look like for me. Plus, the more broad my experience the better I can help more people through coaching and mentoring. So stay tuned!

And with that, I’m signing off with an important philosophical question:

If a tree falls in the Metaverse and no one is logged in, does it make a sound?